About

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Who am I

My personal story

A child of the Most High

I’m 53 years old, born again believer.

I’m the youngest of 4 siblings, born in a family where love was hard to find. My father had addiction problem until my adulthood and my mother had being plagued by ungodly entities living in her. Not your typical ‘normal’ family. Days were hard as money were scarce. I developed a speech defect before school age and had to live with shameful feelings, avoiding people and public speech. School years were hard with the speech defect and the stigma of shame and riddled with guilt. Being judgement by other and adding to this our family’s poor living conditions. Having to deal with the trauma of emotional abuse from a young age, feeling unloved, rejected and having no one to turn to for help. My other siblings had their own emotional trauma to deal with and were unable to help in a meaningful way.

The Lord placed, since I was little, something inside me to rise above my circumstances and instead looking for the good in people. The enemy attempted multiple time to shorten my life, yet the Lord saved me with each attempt. He is working even before you give your life to Him.

Despite all these that seems to be difficult to deal with, the Lord used all these to equip me to help others like you. One can not help another without having experienced it first hand.

Since I gave my life to the Lord, and all began to make sense with each day of healing and deliverance. Some days are more challenging and some is just wow. The Lord is wonderful and and yes healing takes time, but is worth it every day to walk the journey with Him.

A personal note from me to you:

Invest in a journal, no needed to be a expensive one, just one where your can write all that you learn. Speak to Him through your journal and soon you will realize that He is talking to you. Set aside time for studying His word and invite Him to study with you, start ask questions and write down what comes to mind.

A life filled with His grace

As a child having developed a speech defect and living with that defect for years enduring the pain of being different, and coping barely. Unable to excel in many areas reducing my self images to zero. Imagine wanting to say something and your tongue being tied by the enemy. Not knowing how to loosen it and needed to speak yet fearing that the person in front of you will reject or walk away before the messages has been delivered. That was me for a very long time. One day during a summer camp in my early teens, a man called me to the side and spoke to me alone without anyone present. He was the camp head and he did not shame me nor gave me a lecture, but instead he told me how to breath. He patiently let me practice breathing and said I needed to do this daily until it becomes my norm. I did not immediately see the results and it took time and practice and slowly I began to feel the difference in my speech. I was just glad and thankful yet not realizing that it was a miracle that took place. Years later looking back I saw that God ordained it and help me with every time I applied that man's words. Healing took place and today this is a distant memory. I did not go for speech therapy or any medical procedures. It was God who healed me day by day, step by step.

In 2011 I did a routine checkup and was later call into the doctors office saying I need to make an appointment asap. So me thinking not much of it I went there and once I sat in front of the doctor, she pulled out a few cards starting to explain the various cancer types and what C4 means. What she said did not sink in and she told me that they found a concentrated number of cancer cells and she will recommend me to a specialist. So I when and he suggested an procedure which sounds good to me and we scheduled and appointment for the procedure. Being severely traumatized the realization hits me that I had cancer and despite the medical opinions of the doctors saying that it was a slow growing cancer it played in your mind. Yet at that time I had not given my heart to the Lord yet and faced that trauma and did not wanted to burden my family so I did not inform them. When it came to the procedure I still wanted to keep it hidden and drove to the hospital and they did the procedure and I drove home. Two weeks thereafter while being at work a realized something was wrong. I started to bleed profusely and thus drove to the doctor's office and he said that he might have cut too close to the main artery. He checked and there was not place in surgery and thus I had to wait until the next day. So he gave me some pills and said I need to be there the next morning for surgery. So me being very anxious and hoping the temporary fix he made holds, I took some of the pills as per indication and felt an unease going through me and did some research on the pills looking at the side effects. So I stopped using them. During the night I could no sleep due to being anxious and worry about the surgery of next day. I sat up during the night and felt a massive pain starting in my back and moving towards my heart. It happened so fast I could only hold me breath, and then I felt my heart stopped beating. While in that seconds that felt longer, I looked at my heart speaking to it saying "you'll have to start beating" and it started pumping again like nothing have happened. The rest of the night I did not really slept well and drove to the hospital for the surgery net next day. Arriving there they asked why my blood pressure were so high, so me thinking that I already was dealing with cancer and the surgery I really need not deal with a heart condition too as I realized what happened during the night. So they just wrote it off as surgery anxieties and after the procedure all when well and I recovered. What I did not realized during that time was that the Lord kept me save from every attempt of the enemy to end me. Despite my hard headedness, He still kept me save and looking back, I realized that He is with us even during our worst time thinking that we are alone when in fact we are not as He saved me many a time.